friday finds

Happy Friday! Oh man, am I ready for the weekend. Are y'all doing anything fun? Lil and I are hanging out tomorrow while Al golfs and Sunday we're going to a grilled cheese festival thing. And I might switch my closet out for my spring/summer clothes - although this forecast of high 60s means I'll likely be outside rather than in my bedroom. We'll have to see about that one... 

Finds I'm loving from the web this week:

•••••

This is the grilled cheese tasting we're going to on Sunday. Went last year and had a blast. Can't wait for all that cheese!

Oyster bar? On a boat? I'm in.

Love this little thing. So simplistic and beautiful. (via design milk)

This article was just the motivation I needed when I was feeling overwhelmed earlier this week. Removing the focus from yourself and praying good things for others. Try it out. (via Cup of Jo)

One of my new weekly bits of fun - The New Yorker Cartoon caption contest. 

WAY cheaper than buying linen napkins from Williams Sonoma. Anyone wanna lend me their sewing machine?

Interesting read of the week: How the Japanese do American culture, but better.

For anyone planning to visit NYC - a few etiquette tips.

A new book from the Humans of New York photographer. Eee! I love his little kid photos.

Well what would you know, naps help your brain. I must have a really good brain.

And since it's apparently what I do now, the puppy video of the week:

•••••

Have a stupendous weekend!

xo,

K

{image source}

do the right thing

This morning as I was crossing the slushy street to my office building, I saw a Coke delivery man carrying cases of bottled soda step into a puddle, slip, fall, and spill dozens of bottles of Coke all over the intersection.  My light changed to walk and as the crowd started across the street, cars began to move and honk at the man trying to pick up each bottle.  It's safe to say that the intersection in front of my building is a busy one - especially at 9 in the morning as commuters rush to get to work on time.  There were about 30 people at the intersection when the delivery man fell.  Only two people stopped to help him.  I found myself quickly weighing the odds of being even later than I already was vs. helping the man.  I helped him. Me and one other guy stopped, reached our hands into the slushy water and retrieved bottle after bottle of Coke and then helped the man across the street.  It is those split second moments - the tiny debate of preserving one's self and doing the right thing - where humanity lives.  I didn't pick up the coke because people were watching me and would reward me (and that's not why I'm telling you now).  It's because I felt compelled to do the right thing.  

I've been thinking about this notion more recently after I heard this story about "always going to the funeral" on my morning NPR (transcript here). In her essay, Deidre Sullivan writes about always going to the funeral as a larger philosophy.  She says, 

"Always go to the funeral" means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don't feel like it. I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don't really have to and I definitely don't want to. I'm talking about those things that represent only inconvenience to me, but the world to the other guy. You know, the painfully under-attended birthday party. The hospital visit during happy hour. The Shiva call for one of my ex's uncles. In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn't been good versus evil. It's hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing."

She's right isn't she?  It's not that I saw the delivery guy slip and fall and evilly thought, "I'm not going to help him; serves him right".  It's more that I could have easily thought "sucks to be him" and kept walking.  It's easier to do nothing.  But I'll tell you one thing, I feel really good this morning.  And that poor man, drenched from the puddle he fell in to, looked up at me in disbelief and thanked me a million times over.  I'm hoping just as I remembered Deidre's message to "always to go the funeral", this will help you remember to stop and do the right thing.  And for the record, no one cared that I was 5 more minutes late for work.

xoxo,

K

{image source}

28 things

Wow.  28 years old today.  Sometimes I feel older than that. But most days I feel like I should still be 25.  It sounds so cliche, but now I get it when people mutter "where has the time gone?". 28 seems nice though. 28 seems wise, settled, fun.  I think I'll get used to 28 just fine.  

I've learned a thing or two in my 28 years years.  Here are 28 things I know to be true:

1. Dogs > humans
2. I've said it before, and Ill say it again:  Hallelujah for the cleaning lady.
3. Friends can be family.
4. Early to bed early to rise.  (i.e. sleep is important.)
5. It's okay to argue as long as the end goal is a resolution.
6. Seasonal decor, while seemingly a waste of time and space, does make a difference.
7. Communication, communication, communication.
8. In the morning:  hot water with a squeeze of half a lemon.  It's a must.
9. Listen to what is being said, instead of thinking about what you are going to say next.
10. Celebrate the little things.
11. The only trick to good skin is to wash your face before bed.
12. In a confrontation, avoid the words 'never' and 'always'.  Hyperbolizing about a fault or mistake won't get you anywhere.
13. Travel is more than seeing new places. It opens your mind and your heart and leaves you forever changed.
14. Shake Shack makes the best burger.
15. Avoid constantly wanting the next step.  Focus on living in the now.
16. Know what time of day your mind is the sharpest and tackle the more difficult tasks at that time.
17. Admit when you're wrong.
18. No matter how comfortable you get living away from your family, you'll always miss them just the same.
19. When overwhelmed, break things down in to parts and do one step at a time. 
20. Food is so good.  So is portion control.
21. Don't compare your life to others.  Make your own life.
22. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do for longer than you'd like. And that is okay. 
23. Drink. More. Water.
24. Every day:  Be a good partner. 
25. Know when to say no. But don't say no just because what is asked of you seems difficult.
26. There is no relationship quite like that of sisters.
27. Marriage is the most important thing. Sometimes it comes easy and sometimes it is work. Sometimes it is the focus and other times it is in the background.  But it is always the most important thing.
28. Find time each day to do something that fulfills you.

Here's to my 28th year.  May it be my best year yet.

xoxo,

K

{image source}

friday finds

Friday.  

We made it.  

T. G. for serious.

I'm so excited for a quiet weekend.

I need to rest, clear my head, and have some peace.

I'm noticing a trend where every Friday I declare I have to put my life back together and then Monday it all unravels again.  

Probably not the best thing, huh?

Meanwhile, here's what I'm loving from around the web this week...

-----

A pretty accurate account living in New York in your early twenties.

“New York is the prom king. He knows he's great, and he's gonna make it really, really hard on you if you decide you want to love him.”

Is technology interfering with your real human interaction?

I think Al would definitely vote for the "phone stack game" when we dine out.

Reminds me of this book that I mentioned a few weeks ago.

For the sports fans out there:

1.) Oh my goodness Mariano's last game.  Made me tear up.

2.) Our friend, Corban, wrote an awesome article about the Royals.

3.) Chiefs + horses + Eric Berry

Currently reading.

It took me awhile (like 20% on my kindle) to get into it.

But now, oh yes!  Reminds me of Hunger Games a lot.

Genius.

Too early to buy it as a stocking stuffer?

A good one to remember.

-----

Have a great weekend!

xoxo,

K

{image source}

vent session

I usually try to keep things positive on here.  Even when doling out etiquette advice, I try to keep it nice and not bossy.  But today, I'm afraid I need to break that up-beat tone for one quick second.  Bear with me here while I vent...

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD (spice up your life).  

Sorry.  

Spice Girls easily side tracks me. 

Let's start again.  

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD PEOPLE WHO READ THIS BLOG - for the love of clothes please, please, 

PLEASE remove the darn tack 'X' stitch on your skirts and jackets.

You know what I'm talking about.  

This thing. 

That holds the slit/vent/pleat of your skirts and jackets together.

That stitch is REMOVABLE.  It is made to be removed.  

It is there only to keep the clothes crisp in store and easy to transport.  It is NOT there to make you walk teeny tiny steps in your pencil skirt because you have a four inch area in which to move your legs. It is NOT there to ruffle up on your rump in your suit jacket.  

I can't begin to explain the amount of grown humans I see running around with their tacking stitch still in place.  The most expensive of suits quickly looks ridiculous on someone when they keep the X in the back.

So please people, turn around and check out the back of yourself before leaving the house.  Still have that X stitch there?  Take your finger/butter knife/letter opener/seam ripper and gently slide it underneath, break the seam, and pull out the threads.  NOW you look pulled together.  

Okay, vent session (pun intended) over.  

I just really needed to get that off my chest.  

Dose this drive anyone else crazy or am I just hypersensitive to it?

I promise to not be so shout-y tomorrow.

XO,

K

{image source 1.  image source 2}

five things I know for sure

Sometimes when life gets really busy and it seems like you'll never have the time to do all the things you want to do, it's helpful to step back, take a moment, and think about what really matters.  

I love reading in O Magazine the "five things I know for sure".

Such truth and wisdom emerges when you narrow life down to five small things.

Here are mine.

Five Things I Know For Sure

1.  Getting out of bed on time really pays off.

Starting your day on the right foot and not rushing really makes a difference.  On mornings when I get out of bed on time, do a light work out, make the bed and actually blow dry my hair, I feel more awake and alert than if I had hit the snooze button an extra three five times.

2. It really is better to do one thing at a time.

Our generation could easily be labeled as master multitaskers.  We listen to music while we study, we watch TV while reading, we text while walking, we have at minimum 37 windows open on our computers at all times.  But my end product is much better when I do one thing at a time.  I make less mistakes and I feel calmer.  This applies to the fun stuff too - focusing on whatever it is you're doing at that instant allows you be in the moment and enjoy details that are often missed.

3. Cleaning ladies are worth every last cent.

Even though I can almost vacuum our entire apartment by using just one electrical outlet, I despise cleaning house.  Tidying I enjoy; toilets I do not.  Maybe it's because I live with a boy and it's grosser.  But, in a world when we're working longer hours and trying to get every last thing into every last minute of the day, sometimes it pays off to not have to clean the baseboards and de-soap scum the shower on your Saturday morning.  Sometimes outsourcing a chore is better than doing it yourself.

4.  Tone of voice matters (so do 'please' and 'thank you').

Whether it's a parent-child conversation, a boss-employee interaction, or a husband-wife moment, tone of voice really matters.  No one likes to be shouted at - and I don't know about you, but I never feel good after I've shouted at someone.  People are much more apt to help if you ask in a polite way.  And for that matter, when it is required that you use a stern (key word is stern - not rude) tone of voice - people will know you're serious. :) 

5.  Find time to do what you love.

Not all of us can make a living doing what we love, but all of us should find ways to squeeze in a little bit of our favorite stuff each day.  I know that this is easier said than done.  But the clothes can sit in the dryer for an hour longer while you go on a walk.  Dinner can start later so you can get a manicure.  That last email can wait until the morning so you can get home to your family.  The work and chores in life will never ever end.  Don't wait to do what you want for when you get free time or when life gets less busy.  You'll be waiting a long time if you do.

What are your 5 things?

xoxo,

K

P.S.  The sixth thing I know for sure is that french bulldogs make everything better.

{image source}

kate and jonathan for paperless

Have you ever used Paperless Post?

It's a very fancy and adorable way to send invitations, announcements, greetings etc. - all electronically.

Each invite comes with it's own envelope, stamp, etc. 

When you click it the envelope turns over, opens up, and pulls out the invite.

Guests then can still RSVP electronically and write comments.

I've used it several times and people seem to really love receiving them.

Well now I love Paperless Post even more!

Why?

Because they have two new collaborations - one with Kate Spade and one with Jonathan Adler.

And they are all super cute - so cute that you can lose hours (if not days) playing around.

I sent an invite out yesterday for an engagement party we're hosting and I literally took DAYS to pick and choose which invite to send, what font to use, what color to make the envelope, etc.  

I mean, take a look at all these choices....

Kate Spade

via

via

via

via

via

And let's not forget my pal Jonathan Adler...

via

via

via

via

via

I told you they were cute.

Reason enough to have a party if you ask me.

xoxo,

K

miss manners: lesson four

It's time we get back on track with our Miss Manners Lessons.

If you remember, so far we've covered addressing correspondence, 

congratulating the newly engaged and married, 

as well as the whole opening doors issue.

Today it's time to talk table manners.

I'm sure you know many of these, but it never hurts to have a refresher.

Most of these are ingrained in my brain from a combination of setting the table as a child 

and from our sweet House Mom Molly in college.

These fun little ways to remember will hopefully make them ingrained in your brain too!

{LESSON 4: TABLE MANNERS}

Let's start first with setting the table.

The FORK goes to the LEFT of the plate 

because F-O-R-K and L-E-F-T have the same number of letters.

The SPOON and KNIFE go to the RIGHT of the plate 

because S-P-O-O-N, K-N-I-F-E and R-I-G-H-T have the same number of letters.

-----

Ever have that moment when the table is so crowded that you don't know which water is yours?

Next time just remember B-M-W.

Bread, meal, water.

Your bread plate is on your left. Then your "meal plate".  Then your water glass.

No more drinking another person's water again!

-----

When some one asks for you to please pass the salt, you should also pass the pepper.

Remember that the SALT & PEPPER are married.
They go together, always.

-----

If you're at a family style meal or someone asks you to pass the bread, you should always pass to the right of you, rather than across the table. 

Remember, "be polite, pass to the right."

-----

Need to excuse yourself from the table? 

Make sure to say "excuse me" and then quietly scoot out from the table, 

placing your napkin on your chair.

You should only leave your napkin on the table once you're finished with the meal.

(I hope I don't need to tell you that you should put your napkin in your lap as soon as the hostess does.)

-----

Speaking of finishing your meal, once you're finished eating, 

you should turn you fork over on your plate 

and lay it and your knife with knife blade facing you diagonally across the plate.

(I've read fork tines can be up or down - what a controversy - but I like tines down. Clearly says you're finished eating.)

This symbolizes to the wait staff that they are free to clear your plate from the table.

-----

And finally, this is in no etiquette book I've ever seen, 

but I recommend finishing a nice meal out with a little glass of bubbly. :)

-----

Hope you learned something new!

xoxo,

K

P.S. Miss Manners Lesson One

Miss Manners Lesson Two

Miss Manners Lesson Three

{images adapted by me. Sources here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.}

miss manners: lesson three

Time for this week's Miss Manners post!

I hope you learned from lesson one and two.  

Today we're going to discuss something that could seem a bit antiquated, but I think still matters.

Let's begin.

{LESSON THREE:  DOORS}

Now I know the whole "men open the doors for lady" thing seems super old fashioned, and probably something most people don't practice these days. 

But I noticed once I moved to New York City that the instances of door-opening are greater since we're constantly getting in and out of cabs and walking in and out of buildings and elevators with other people.

This had me constantly asking "Who opens the door?", "Who gets in first?", "Who gets out first"?  

I have the answers for you, my friends.

Let's take this one case at at a time.

-

Here's an easy one.

When entering a building/room, etc., the man should open the door for the lady, wait to let her walk through, and then follow.

(I sincerely hope we all knew that one already.)

-

When getting in to a taxi, the man should open the door.

BUT, here's the kicker:  

Most times, both passengers enter the taxi from the same side of the street due to traffic .

(i.e. the man wouldn't open the lady's door and then walk around and get in on the other side)

In this case, the man should get in first and slide over in the back seat.

You never want to make the lady slide across, as it could ruffle her perfectly assembled outfit. :) 

-

When going through a revolving door, it is actually the man who goes first, as his brute strength can help propel the door forward so the lady just has to walk and doesn't need to push the door.

(I love this one.)

-

When exiting an elevator, all men should wait and let all women and children exit first.

(i.e. the man shouldn't just wait for his lady to exit, but for all women to exit)

A man should also hold the doors open to ensure they don't start to close as a woman is exiting.

(I'm a stickler for this and give serious judge-y stares to the young men in my building who seem to have failed to learn this lesson)

-----

So, what do you think?

Makes sense, I think.

And I love having my door opened by my gent.

I find it attractive when he follows these rules.

Also, who knew there were so many doors we encounter on a day to day basis?!

xoxo,

K

P.S. In case you missed them, check out lesson one and lesson two of this month's Miss Manners series.

{graphic by me}

boston

I'm postponing today's scheduled Miss Manners post because it seems a bit silly to talk about etiquette when so many hearts are hurting today from the terrible acts of violence that occurred yesterday in Boston.  

I know several runners and spectators that were there yesterday.  Thankfully all are okay, physically.  But I'm sure the horror of reliving those scary few moments is far from their minds.

In church this past Sunday we started a new series about five life lessons the Bible teaches us in order to live well.  Ironically, Sunday's sermon was all about the Golden Rule - treat others as you wish to be treated.  And even more specifically, treat your enemies with kindness.  Luke 6:27-28 says "But I say to you who are willing to hear: Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you."

It's so easy to be filled with rage and anger at times like these. I feel it.  I'm not just sad, I'm really really MAD.  I'm trying with all my might to not only pray for those people who are affected by this disaster;  but also for anyone who has enough hate in their heart to commit such acts of cruelty   Perhaps, by praying for those who hate, we can diminish some of our own antipathy and help take a little bit of darkness out of the world.

Thinking and praying for Boston.  And wishing with all my heart that the frequency of events like these lessens.

xoxo,

K

{image source}

miss manners: lesson two

I'm so glad you seemed to like my new Miss Manners Series. 

I hope you learned something new after last week’s lesson.

Today I bring you lesson two of Miss Manners Tuesdays.

I think you'll find it a very helpful lesson. 

{LESSON TWO:  BEST WISHES VS. CONGRATULATIONS}

This week we'll be focusing on something that, if you're like me, 

you do at least once every Monday morning when you check Facebook:  

congratulate someone for becoming engaged.

Did you know, according to old social customs, 

that there is a right way and a wrong way to congratulate someone who is newly engaged?

When a lady becomes engaged, you tell her "best wishes". 

You do not to say "congratulations".

Congratulations implies that the man is a prize and that she has "won" her man. 

Best wishes, instead, sends your love and thoughts to her on her upcoming nuptials and life with her gent.

You do say "congratulations" to the gent because, 

obviously, he was dashing enough to get the lady to say yes.

When congratulating both the lady and the gent together on their engagement, 

use "best wishes". 

Some etiquette sources say once the couple is married, you may then officially use "congratulations" towards the couple. 

You can go either way here. I personally use both in this case. 

For example,  once the couple gets married I might say/write 

"Congratulations! Best wishes on a lifetime of happiness together."

 These same rules apply to the bride and groom's family. 

It's "best wishes" for the bride's parents and family.

And "congratulations" to the groom's side.

Easy enough, right?

I hope to see many more "best wishes" on Facebook walls now. :)

*****

Learn anything new?

Check back next Tuesday for Lesson #3!

And in case you missed it, here's Lesson #1.

xoxo,

K

PERSONAL OPINION:  I absolutely love when friends get engaged. It is such a fun time filled with happiness and love and the excitement of wedding planning. While, clearly, in this day-in-age, a wall post counts for sending your sentiments, it is always nice to take the extra step and send a brief written note to your friend.

miss manners: lesson one

I've mentioned it a before, but I am a sucker for all things etiquette.

One summer in college I read Emily Post...for fun.

Then when I got engaged someone gave me Emily Post Weddings. And I read it cover to cover.

I think part of it is because I like following directions. 

Same reason I like cooking and baking so much.

There are instructions and guidelines and you follow them. 

Easy enough.

With that said, it's time I spread my affinity for civility.

I'll be sharing one new etiquette tip every Tuesday this month.

I'm calling it Miss Manners.

(Fun fact: I did attend Miss Manners class growing up. It was in Weavers Department Store and I was terrified and also in love with our very proper and very skinny teacher.)

Okay, let's get started.

This is going to be fun (seriously).

And you might just learn something new.

{LESSON ONE:  ADDRESSING CORRESPONDENCE}

Since wedding season is near, I thought we'd start with something that you think you know, until you need to address 200 wedding invitations. Not engaged? Pay attention still. You never know when you need to address someone formally, even if you're not writing a handwritten note. All of this still holds true for for emails, evites, and paperless post too.

When addressing a married couple: 

Never separate a man from his last name.

For example, these are all correct:  

Mr. and Mrs. John Rose

Mr. John Rose and Mrs. Jane Rose

Jane and John Rose

And these are incorrect:

Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Rose 

John and Jane Rose

*****

When addressing two people who are not married:

Gentleman first.*

*This is less so these-days, but I prefer the old standard.

For example, this is more correct:

Mr. John Rose & Ms. Jane Smith

And this is less correct:

Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Rose

There is one exception, the only time you put the woman's name first is if the woman "out ranks" the man. (ha. Don't we all?!)

For example:  

The Honorable Jane Smith and Mr. John Rose

*****

And please for the love of all things good and sane: 

Do not put "and guest" on the outer envelope.

If a person does get a plus one to your event, either include "and guest" on the inner envelope

 or let them know via some other way (verbally, email, etc.) after the invitation has been sent.

Whenever I see "and guest" on an outer envelope I think it looks as if I can bring any guests that live at that address. In which case I get to bring Lily to the party.

*****

And that concludes lesson one. 

See? That was fun!

Stay tuned next Tuesday for Lesson #2!

DISCLOSURE:  Keep in mind there are always exceptions, and just about anything goes nowadays.  I tend to be a little more conservative on  these things. I like to do it the old school way.  It just feels...more special. 

xoxo,

K

{image by me. I consulted my Emily Post for this information}