miss manners: lesson two

I'm so glad you seemed to like my new Miss Manners Series. 

I hope you learned something new after last week’s lesson.

Today I bring you lesson two of Miss Manners Tuesdays.

I think you'll find it a very helpful lesson. 

{LESSON TWO:  BEST WISHES VS. CONGRATULATIONS}

This week we'll be focusing on something that, if you're like me, 

you do at least once every Monday morning when you check Facebook:  

congratulate someone for becoming engaged.

Did you know, according to old social customs, 

that there is a right way and a wrong way to congratulate someone who is newly engaged?

When a lady becomes engaged, you tell her "best wishes". 

You do not to say "congratulations".

Congratulations implies that the man is a prize and that she has "won" her man. 

Best wishes, instead, sends your love and thoughts to her on her upcoming nuptials and life with her gent.

You do say "congratulations" to the gent because, 

obviously, he was dashing enough to get the lady to say yes.

When congratulating both the lady and the gent together on their engagement, 

use "best wishes". 

Some etiquette sources say once the couple is married, you may then officially use "congratulations" towards the couple. 

You can go either way here. I personally use both in this case. 

For example,  once the couple gets married I might say/write 

"Congratulations! Best wishes on a lifetime of happiness together."

 These same rules apply to the bride and groom's family. 

It's "best wishes" for the bride's parents and family.

And "congratulations" to the groom's side.

Easy enough, right?

I hope to see many more "best wishes" on Facebook walls now. :)

*****

Learn anything new?

Check back next Tuesday for Lesson #3!

And in case you missed it, here's Lesson #1.

xoxo,

K

PERSONAL OPINION:  I absolutely love when friends get engaged. It is such a fun time filled with happiness and love and the excitement of wedding planning. While, clearly, in this day-in-age, a wall post counts for sending your sentiments, it is always nice to take the extra step and send a brief written note to your friend.