While Al and I were walking Lily this weekend we were laughing at the ridiculous amount of control she has over us. If she wants to stop walking to sniff some trash, we stop walking. If she stops walking because she's tired, we stop walking (and carry her). If she stops walking because the pet store is closed and she doesn't understand why she can't get her treat, we stop walking (and carry her). Al said it reminded him of Jerry Seinfeld's bit above about if aliens were watching us with dogs, they would think the dogs were the rulers. It's so true.
People always say having a dog is great training for having children. I would agree. We've learned many lessons from having Lily that will transfer to having a human child someday: how to care for something other than ourselves, how to better communicate with each other, how to best clean poop/pee/dirt/vomit from most surfaces and fabrics. The biggest lesson we've learned though? We can't spoil our future human children like we do Lily. I mean, let's be honest, I'm not saying we won't spoil our kids. Because we will. But there will have to be some teaching moments in there for sure. It's one thing to have a bratty dog, but a bratty child that has to grow into a functioning adult someday? Well that's a little different. Thankfully, Lily doesn't have to become a grown up and learn that life isn't all about her. We'll carry her home from the park for the rest of her life if she wants. You win, Lily. You win.
In my next life, I'm totally coming back as a dog.