2.26.2013

contentment

"The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have, and be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach."         
-Yutang Lin

I've noticed over the past year or so a greater sense of calm come over me. I can't decide if it's because I'm getting older or if it's something more than that. Maybe it's because I'm not planning my next "stage" of life. For so long, it seems, I've been rushing around. Graduate, move to New York, find a job, become engaged, get a new job, move apartments, get a dog, get married. I did all that in four years. No wonder I was am so tired!

But now we have no immediate big picture plans. I don't have an exact deadline dictating what's next for me. It's not as fun or dramatic to put money in a savings account or increase my 401K. Is this what being a grown up is like? I thought the lack of an instant next step might leave me bored. But it hasn't. I'm not bored, I realized. I'm content. And it's a lovely feeling. I feel like I have time. Something of which I never seemed to have had enough.

I know this feeling won't last too long. Someday I'll look back and long for this time. But for now, I just want to take a moment to relish it. I'm happy. I feel calm and stable and at this moment I want nothing grander than to snugs with my husband and pup.

I often feel that I need to cram all the big idea things I want to do into every moment of every day. For so long, the best way to explain my life was rushed. 'Life is short. Don't waste a second.' was my mantra. But I think I need to amend my motto. Perhaps two more minutes sitting on the park bench and people watching is living. Waking without the fury of a looming to do list might just be a good thing. Maybe really living life is enjoying all those short, unplanned, small moments that we so frequently take for granted. 

I hope you can find time to pause and focus on the small stuff. It might just be what you were missing.
xoxo,
K

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